scheduled for sunday

the angry, emo girl here has the latest update. my boss has msged me today to tell me that we are flying on sunday. But as long as I have not collected my visa, which I am collecting tomorrow, and as long as sunday is not here yet, I'm not seriously rejoicing yet. keeping my fingers crossed. :\

I didn't feel like meeting or talking to anyone since friday till today. on sunday, my grandma called and I had to explain to her why i was still around.. I have also just kept quiet when my friends who didn't know better about my whacko condition said things (jokingly i'm sure...) to the likes of " how come u'e still around?eh... you suck!" or "eh.. you kena rejected ah???" when such things happen, I just feel damn sianz.. so I just avoid la.. tired of explaining

plus, monday, cos the belgium team left on sunday, only 5 out of the original 9 were left in our little room. it felt empty. and then e other 3 left for an on-site job in the late morning, leaving me and faizal to totally stone the day away, which continued till today, tuesday. it's the period of time when you feel that you're not doing anything useful in the company, and that others are simply giving you tasks to occupy your time. ugh..

so yes, I cldn't help but jump for joy when some guy first leaked out the news that we were supposed to leave on sunday. but as we found out more, i cldn't help but feel bad, that the decision was to leave my friend behind, while we go ahead first, which boils down to all that team stuff that I said I was having mixed feelings about previously. Joining this program, you realise what all this team stuff encompasses. there have been many delays in this program partly due to this team thingy (do not really know what else to call it), cos u're forever waiting for one another. When I had graduated in may, we had to wait 2 months for july so that the rest of those who were still holding jobs could give 2 months notice in their old companies to tender their resignations. Come june during a briefing, some guy, said he actually didn't tender his resignation yet, cos alcatel told him things were not comfirmed and told him not to yet (for a terribly bored person, I really wanted to kill him, but actually you can't really blame him for playing safe), but then! the rest who tendered in may had to wait for this guy too, and the fresh graduates had to wait another month for him, so finally it was august before everyone was free to start. so yeah.. waiting not a great thing ya?

faizal has been my partner for all projects the past 3 weeks, and I'm sure it really sucks for him that we are planning to leave without him. 5 people being delayed together is not as bad as being left behind and delayed all alone. makes one not all too sure whether one's still in the program and whether one can catch up maybe? i duno.. becos he's still putting up a relatively strong front. but then again, like what yy and rebec have said, it makes the most sense to continue with the project first. But yeah.. we are still keeping our fingers crossed that he will be given his visa in the next few days. Please come to US, else I will have no shopping partner =( and I will have to be the official driver!!

to those who quietly listened to my rantings,

to those scolded and offered to beat people up on my behalf to help me vent my anger,

to those who helped to calm me,

thanks man

don't know how things are going to turn out this time. we shall wait and see. everything in its time huh...