the right and wrongs

I think I matured thrice as fast since exchange till now.
Things observed this yr, seen and heard, experienced.
some when in hall, some among my friends, some on exchange.

So how should one treat a courtship?


Can you be "touched" into loving someone?

Should you be attracted to someone and then try to build a relationship.or do you find a nice, reliable guy and then hope beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Do you shoot many arrows so that that probability of a hit is higher? Acceptable no? So you just happen to really really her, and soon after her and then her?

Can you not really like someone that much, but oh well, since not attached, but very much looking, so just TRY things out?

or because u are just soo tired of trying and failing, you leap straight into an open door.

Can you actually 'love' 2 at the same time and be confused by who to choose.

Therefore, is it justifiable to try it out on both sides, play the romeo/juliet on both sides, to keep options open, so that you can make a better decision at the end of the day. Arugued as basically to protect yourself, and to make sure you made the right decision, cos we should really look out for ourselves.

Is it possible to be deeply in love with one person, and to fall for another in 2 weeks?

Is this phenomenon actually possible, or does it call for high suspicion that the party has been working both sides for some time. And even if he has, is it completely understandable? Been spoken to about the situation, but I am confused. One moment I understand that the person may be truly troubled and is confused over what's best for him. The other moment I scream, conniving, 2-timing bastard. --> yes, I know its not worth speaking vulgarities for unworthly people, so just one, medium level expletive is all I will give.

maybe some people dont intend to 2 time, it's just timing has it that 2 people want to enter your life at the same time and you are confused? yah? there's never a strict rule right?

Strategy, inividual self-interest? what is right and wrong, as long as u are the happiest at the end of the day. I am beginning to think that these things are actually ok and secretly accepted by many.

we are all strangers. a person will forever be a stranger, unless u make the move to change it.

The Drug - Bewildered by you

The Drug can bring you your happiest moments.
but alas the happiest doesn't last long.
Because the happiness are not real, but built on fallacies.
Happiness built on lies.
It's hard to pull urself away, because of the unknown consequences before,
Save myself.

The Drug speaks of eternal commitment and happiness.
A temptation? Nah? A mess of the mind, Yeah...
and proceeds to change his partner in 2 days.

Immediate Bewilderment.

2 DAYS?! ( what's 2 weeks now?!)

but I will not be spiteful (at least not too much here)
to the drug who has never ever bothered to read my blog.

Thank you for the surprises.
Thank you for taking care of me.
Thank you for making me feel special.
Thank you for my many firsts.

Thank you for making me grow up.
Thank you for teaching me politics
Thank you for teaching me PR
Thank you for teaching me mind games.

Thank you for making me more discerning.
Thank you for making me less naive.
Thank you for making me more reserved.
Thank you for making me smarter in life.

I've no authority to be angry, because I told u to go, but I really doubt the sincerity of a man.
Once bitten twice shy. I am now at twice. I am not upset, why should I? Just feeling deluded. I'm jaded.

解脱是肯承认这是个错
你有自由走我有自由好好过

Move on, be off, wish you well, hope you have really changed.

background music

bugs flying in my head.

Occasionally, I zone out. in those instants, I strategize, I rehearse, I rationalise, I think back.
Like a song on continuous play mode, I deliberately tune the stray thoughts out, so that I can perform for the task at hand. Haunting me, but managed temporarily. Till I unleash what need be for my sanity when I can.

你要知道你为什么会哭。

也许是因为我不服。　这想法健康吗？still sorting it out.