game time

have not had to desire to blog for the last few weeks, simply because deep thoughts are not suitable for public display and some happenings are too mundane or rather to bimbotic too be written down.

the holidays was spent on trainings more than anything else, and well meeting up with my pals and spending time with my family. a few who bothered realised I haven't been spending much time in hall, well... there's just no desire to stay in hall during the hols when you have no idea whose occassionally around, and those who are always around are used to hanging out with those who are always always around, so really its hard cutting in. so how else to spend hols at home watching hongkong serials on the new LCD tv at home with my entire family. what would i do without everyone at home. =)

I've certainly spent more time on trainings this hols more than I had planned, but what to do, a sense of responsibility surges up and there's no way I can use the excuse of FYP to escape it all. I feel that there was a lack of motivation in this year's hockey team, with a loss of many experienced seniors and recurring bad attendance. But that didn't stop us from getting a very lucky overall third during the hockey carnival, highlight being that we drew Eh. I got to start all the 5 games we played, and I'm satisfied that I did my part.

Last wednesday, coach jm told me I would start the game against rh for handball on thursday, and well, I was really happy. although I've been in the ihg team since first year, I've never been really great at the sport. I blame it on the fact that I dont have natural ball and court sense as those who've played basketball or netball since secondary school, and of course lah.. basically i'm not a born natural at this sport. But handball has always been THE sport which most sportman like to join, so i must say the competition I face in the team is much tougher as compared to in softball and hockey. I feel rather down during trainings, when I'm reticient during debriefs. Some may find it odd that i'm not speaking up as an experienced senior should, but the truth being that I don't hold much confidence in my abilities as compared to the rest of the team. it was the same for hockey during training, when the poor yr 1 senior asked the seniors, meaning me being the one longest in the team, to speak up, I found myself silent, partly cos I was unmotivated at the pitch trainings (hell friendly waste my time and everyone was just singing praises of the game) , and partly because I feel that I only have ihg experience. But then again, at ihg itself, i was suddenly speaking almost during every time-out or after every match. maybe suddenly i felt alive, felt that the team had hope, felt that my words would help the team.

so yeah, I've been in the silent team supporter role for the last 3 years for handball. I say little during debriefs, I feel shit when I cannot make power shots after soo many years, I used to always be in the OTHER team, the team that helps the first team work on their attack by being the defence, or their defence, by being the attack, but being scolded at the same time, cos the second team makes lousy attacks as compared to the super first team. and suddenly I got to start. after I told someone I was starting, the person said, eh.. this years team not very strong hor. yah. like that's the only reason why I even have a chance, thank you very much. maybe so, but you could have kept this thought to yourself, or may have saved this question till some lines of conversation later and not have made it that obvious. watever, I hope the best for the team this year, cos hell, we trained like mad. 8 to 2.30pm training is not for a team with no desire to win! we may not be training smartly, as many concerned onlookers have pointed out, but yeah, the desire's there alright. Sometimes, i get pissed with the excessive debriefing, lecturing and thrashing made in the sport, but i have decided to bo chap it. ya guys are the experts on the sport, yadadadadaa.. scold scold scold.. ya know how demoralising you are getting making everyone? everything you guys do is correct, everything we do, you presume wrong. Even if wrong, some things are better left unsaid lah, ya think you were able to observe everyone during training meh.. urghhhh.. one tell mi do this, one tell mi do that, so fan fan.. all pls shut up! I do it this way, cos someone told me like this, not cos I stupid, do differently from what you think is correctly. urhgh.. ok.. all in all, I'm anticipating th's game. Yan switched me from left second to right second just yesterdae. I'm worried I won't be used to the attack, but yan says they feel safer with me defending th's strongest shooter. eepss! I suddenly feel needed in the team. poorer in attack, but i'm on for defense. If I can hold her shots, i'll feel mission accomplished. just hope I can continue doing my basic attack though. sometimes I hate it, sometimes i love it, let's hope all ends well.